


like apple crumble

by lovelyflowersinherhair



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-28 20:15:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21142562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelyflowersinherhair/pseuds/lovelyflowersinherhair
Summary: Alice forced herself to maintain a neutral expression. It wasn’t that she hated FP. It was just...she couldn’t picture him helping her chaperone a field trip. Was he planning on wearing his Serpent Jacket to herd the children around the farm?





	like apple crumble

In the aftermath of her humiliating divorce from Harold, Alice had done her best to maintain a low profile. Harold had seen fit to run off with his own cousin and cause a town-wide scandal, and Alice had done nothing but attempt to hold on to the shreds of her dignity. Being a divorcee was humiliating. After all she’d sacrificed for Harold? It was distasteful how he and Penelope were content to parade around down as if their relationship wasn’t incesteous and immoral. 

Alice did not care that Penelope had been adopted into the Blossom family. They were content to play up the cousins aspect of the debacle, and she was content to judge. 

But she had elected to take the high road. She’d managed to resist switching the focus of  _ her _ paper from the dramatized evils of the Southside of town to the reality that two -- well one -- of Riverdale’s founding families were perfectly fine with toeing the line of perversion. 

Harold’s parents were embarrassed enough by the fact that she had been handed the paper in the divorce, especially when they processed that she was planning on keeping their paper, and that their family’s investment was now owned by a Southsider. She was sure that milking the elder Coopers’ shame was bordering on cruelty. 

And there were her children to think of. It was unfortunate, but Hal was their father. Better to pretend that they shared an air of mutual respect than have her vitriol on display for all of the Register’s readers to see. For the children’s sake, of course. 

Mainly, she had been laying low for her own sanity. The entire ordeal had taken its toll on her. 

Which was why she found the current situation to be distinctly unamusing. It appeared that Elizabeth had approached Alice while she was drowning her sorrows in her evening bottle of wine, and had asked her to help chaperone the apple picking trip that the entire second grade was taking, and had neglected to inform Sober Alice that she had done so until they’d woken up that morning, at which people it had been too late to recuse herself from the day. 

To say that this development had not amused her was putting it mildly. 

Betty seemed oblivious to her state of non-amusement. The girl seemed only too thrilled that she was giving Alice the opportunity to associate with the juvenile delinquents that Elizabeth had as classmates, and worse, out in the wild. 

She shuddered to think of the day ahead of her. 

“Would you care to inform me which of your classmates’ parents I am being subjected to today, Elizabeth?” 

Betty nodded, her pigtails swinging. “Juggie’s dad, Mommy,” she chirped. “Mr. Jones. He said that he was going to bring Jellybean!”

Alice forced herself to maintain a neutral expression. It wasn’t that she hated FP. It was just...she couldn’t picture him helping her chaperone a field trip. Was he planning on wearing his Serpent Jacket to herd the children around the farm? 

“Why is FP bringing Jellybean?” Alice asked, as they continued the drive to the elementary school. “Isn’t her mother capable of watching her?” 

Truthfully, Alice doubted that Gladys was capable of watching herself, let alone a child, but it was slightly perturbing that FP had figured it out. She repressed a sigh.

“Mrs. Jones runned away.” Betty supplied. “Like Dad did. She went to Toledo.”

“Your father and I got divorced, Elizabeth. He did not ‘run away’. And if I find out he’s been telling you that--”   
  


“I know,” Betty said. “But she did run away. She left them a note. Juggie told me.”

“I see,” she said, and she pursed her lips. “That is unfortunate.” 

“Mr. Jones asked Ms. Beezley if Jellybean could come, and she said yes,” Betty said. “I guess she doesn’t really like her babysitter very much. She’s got a funny name, Mommy.”   
  


“Mmm? What is it, Elizabeth?” 

“She calls her Birdy. Isn’t that funny?” 

Alice forced herself to nod in agreement. She was inwardly preparing a lecture for FP about appropriate choices in childcare. Birdy was definitely not an appropriate choice and the fact that FP didn’t realize this was in immediate need of remedy.

“Why did you need me to do this again?” 

“No one would be in a group with Jughead’s dad as a co-chaperone,” Betty informed her dutifully. “Not even Mr. Andrews.” 

“Really?” Alice raised a brow. Betty nodded. “That behavior is reprehensible, Elizabeth. There is nothing wrong with Jughead, his sister, or his father.” She drew in a sharp breath. “I will deal with the other parents. Especially with Frederick.” She scowled. “Thank you for informing me, Elizabeth.” 

“You’re welcome, Mommy.” 

The elementary school loomed in front of them, and Alice pulled into a parking spot, sensing the presence of her fellow adults arguing close by, as well as the presence of children. She crinkled her nose. Polly had gone ahead and walked to school with some of her friends, and she was on the top of the monkey bars. Alice wanted to lecture her, but elected to wait. Fred and FP seemed to be having some form of disagreement. 

“Why don’t you go play with your friends?” Alice suggested to Betty. “Don’t worry about me. I have plenty to busy myself with.” 

“Okay, Mommy,” Betty said, as she scrambled out of the car. “Bye! See you soon!”

Alice took a moment to freshen up her makeup before she got out of the car. Just because they were going to a farm did not mean there was any excuse to be slovenly, despite the fact that Fred looked as if he hadn’t even bothered to put on a flannel he hadn’t worn at the construction site. If Alice had to be the one to exhibit the concept of clean clothes to the children, she would shoulder the burden. 

Along with informing Frederick that his behavior was unacceptable. Alice did not care what had caused the disagreement between Fred and FP, but she wasn’t going to allow Fred to goad FP into a childish argument in front of a toddler. 

Though it was difficult to feel commandeering while dressed to go apple picking, Alice strove to do her best. 

“What is going on here?” 

The two men barely afforded her a glance of acknowledgement, while a quick glance in the truck revealed that Jellybean was soundly asleep, still strapped into her car seat. Alice supposed she would take that small miracle. 

“Your bitch of a wife ran off with my brother!” Fred exclaimed. “I don’t understand how you don’t see what the problem is with that?” 

“I told you, I don’t care what Gladys and Frank do,” FP retorted. “She wants a divorce? I sure as hell won’t contest it. She can do whatever the hell she wants to do with him.” 

“And, I’m telling you, that this is your fault,” Fred said. “You introduced the two of them! You made him realize there was another path behind working under me at the company! You--”   
  


“Maybe he wondered why you didn’t offer him a partnership?” FP suggested. “I wonder why you offered me one. Was it because the army gave me money? Was it--”

“Shut up, both of you,” Alice said. “This is ridiculous. Are you really arguing because that derelict you call a brother has stopped aggravating our entire neighborhood? Don’t you dare make me track Gladys down and thank her on behalf of the Neighborhood Watch, because, Fred? I will.” 

“He doesn’t care that she’s leading Frank down the wrong path--”

“He doesn’t have to,” she sighed. “And must the two of you fight here? Just because we are in charge of children doesn’t mean the two of you have to act like you’re their age. Fred, don’t you have a co-chaperone to go annoy?”

“I told him he wasn’t going to chaperone with me--”   
  


“I know that, you twit. Why do you think I’m here? Wasting a perfectly good workday picking apples? That’s right,” she said. “I’m the one that is chaperoning with FP, and I’m warning you--”

“Are you threatening me, Alice?” 

“Oh, Fred, honey. It’s not a threat. Threats are for poor people.” She gazed serenely at him. 

He gulped. “Maybe you’re right,” he said. “Maybe I should go find Gladys and Frank.” 

“Will it give me some peace and quiet? If so, begone. FP and I need to chat.”

* * *

  
  
  


“Why did we get put in charge of only the boy and the girl?” 

“I don’t know,” Alice told him, her tone practically gleeful. “I also don’t care.”

“Aren’t they judging us because we’re Southsiders?” FP questioned. “I thought you hated being seen as a Southsider.”

“I’d rather be seen as a Southsider than deal with those ungrateful brats,” she told him after a moment. “Look at how well Elizabeth and Jughead are behaving? They’re including Jellybean.” 

Jellybean was content to toddle after the two second graders and sample the apples that had fallen on the ground, though Alice noticed she was only taking a bite or two out of each before offering the remnants of the fruit to the older children, and her and FP. She thought Jellybean was sweet. 

“Fred’s mad because the old lady was screwing around with his brother,” FP said after a moment. “He thinks I should have stopped them.” 

“I’m sorry about Gladys, FP.” Alice really wasn’t. She found Gladys to be odious. She didn’t see the harm in a blatant lie, however. “That she left you, and the kids.” 

He shrugged his shoulder. “I told her to leave,” he said. “She offered to take them. I told her she could get bent.” He took a bite of his apple. “I know I’m a fuck up, Al. I get why people don’t want me around their kids. I just wanted to do right by Jughead, when I signed up to come today. And doing right by the boy would have been staying the hell away.” 

“Why do you say that?” 

“None of his friends are here--”   
  


“Those people aren’t Jughead’s friends,” Alice told him. “With the exception of Archibald, I suppose, and let’s be honest, how much of that is a friendship of convenience?”

“You don’t care if Elizabeth is friends with him?” 

Alice shook her head. “No, I don’t care about that,” she said. “Elizabeth is allowed to be friends with whomever she wants, and, for that matter, so am I. Harold can’t control me anymore.” 

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that -- if you want -- we can be friends. We can help each other out. We can...learn how to be single parents together.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m not so great at that. I’m drinking every night.” 

“Al--”

“I know he was an ass to me,” she said. “I just -- at least there was someone there. I didn’t have to lay in that giant bed alone.”

“And you have to put up with living next door to Fred.” FP smirked. Alice glared at him. “What? You do.” 

“I’m being serious.” 

“I know,” he said. “If you want to...I’d like that.” 

Alice thought it was a wise idea. “I’ll bake you an apple pie.” 

“You will?” 

She nodded. “Yes, as long as you promise never to leave Jellybean at the Wyrm to be  _ babysat _ ever again.”


End file.
